Movie Review: Get Out

So, if you saw the trailer for "Get Out," you saw the movie. It is predictable, and the typical horror movie about a victim escaping from a perpetrator and discovering that most of those thought to be allies are actually foes. The only interesting point the movie may be making is revealed in the beginning when the viewer sees through photographs the main Black male character has taken, that he grew up in a dangerous, urban environment. One presumes that Chris, the Black male lead character, chose to be with a White woman due to his deep-seeded anger against a Black woman for raising him in a ghetto and stealing his childhood.  Is that what this movie is about?  Is it meant to encourage critical thinking about why Black males choose to date outside of their race? Is it a warning to Black men about dating outside of their race, especially re. White women? At least one review I came across said that the movie reminds of the Kanye West-Kim Kardashian relationship. Most of the reviews I have heard or come across make the obvious point about the movie being satirical concerning racism and the difficulties of being in an interracial relationship.  I haven't read enough reviews of the movie to know if I am the only one who thinks the movie is a commentary about the reason behind some interracial relationships.

The movie's writer and director, Jordan Peele, is bi-racial (Black father, White mother) and married to a White woman. One wonders if his art has imitated his own life and conscious.

Let's explore my takeaways from "Get Out," that Black males date out of their race because they are angry at their Black mothers, then date out of their race only to realize that all White women are not the perfect, liberal creatures they are shown to be through media images and their urban public school  educations. Most of the interracial relationships I have witnessed do not last as long as anticipated and end with the White female being disappointed that she wasn't able to completely domesticate her seemingly virile counterpart, and the Black male being disappointed that all vaginas are the same after all, and the Black male realizing that his complete and total submission was the point of it all anyway.

To be clear, this note is not meant to suggest that there is anything wrong with interracial relationships. It is simply meant to examine the motives behind them.

So, how exactly do Black females hand their counterparts over to others? Like this:

1. By raising their children in poverty.  Folks:  Poverty is devastating. It robs those who experience it of their childhood and almost certainly guarantees permanent crippling.  Black people who grow up in poverty need to make a pact to not have children until after their escape from poverty is secured. STOP THE PRESSES:  I am not saying that it is okay for impoverished White people to have children. It is not okay for anyone who is not emotionally, mentally, financially, and otherwise prepared to have children, to have children. I am specifically addressing Blacks because that's who I am writing about at this particular time. And by "Blacks," I am referencing people of the entire African diaspora, North American Blacks, so-called Caribbeans, continental "Africans," and other folks who can logically be considered "Black." 
2. By being bad role models.  A mother is the first model of a woman a child has. If she screws this up, she risks scarring a child's perception of women who look and feel like her. Children watch their parents' behavior. They want a parent of which they can be proud. Offspring are not thrilled about showing of loud, obese, insecure, or otherwise ill parents. Bad role modeling occurs when, for example, a parent engages a revolving door of mates, allows various significant others to live with the family, or allows a significant other to live in the home without working or acting like an adult. 
3. By choosing the wrong fathers for their children.  One of the biggest problems we have in the "Black" community is that there is no orientation:  We do not teach our boys and girls how to be men and women. Unfortunately, there is no explicit or implicit teaching. Our offspring tend to grow up not knowing what their responsibility to themselves and their community is.  We do not teach them, for instance, that when they are searching for a mate, they should consider that person's character and quality and consider the long-term ramifications of engaging with the person.  
4. By allowing their children's subjugation and abuse.  Children rightfully and reasonably expect their caretakers to protect them from harm. When mothers allow a significant other to abuse, credibility is diminished. Allowing adults to bully or coerce children provokes feelings of insecurity in children.
5. Mostly number one.

There:  I said it. 

Helping kids cope with the election results

Adults and children alike are struggling with the recent election of Donald J. Trump, especially as children have been privy to adult conversations concerning President-Elect Trump's plans and how certain populations may be impacted. As adults, we have the power to make children feel safe even if and when they are not, which is essential to decreasing their stress levels as well as our own.

Here's how to decrease your child's stress level--and your own--concerning the recent presidential election.

1.  Be smart about YOUR conversation concerning the Election.  Children look to adults for guidance. Everything you say and do is a model for what children think they should be saying and doing. If you speak or appear to feel negatively, so will they. Speak neutrally and hopefully about the Election results so that listening children will learn that they do not have to hate the results just because some adults do.

Children may also be encouraged to speak negatively about the results in order to appease or win the approval of adults.

2.  Encourage children to get their own facts and feel their own emotions.  Children are sponges. They soak up everything. A lot of the fear children are feeling is based upon what they've heard adults say about the candidates and the Election. Perhaps you may sit down with children and look at the President-Elect's website. Read the website together and discuss the implications of proposed policies. From now on, watch the President-Elect's speeches and actions together with children, and discuss whether or not what he says and does is in line with his promises.

3.  Remind children that adults are not perfect.  Explain that sometimes even adults are not honest and make mistakes. For example, a lot of people were not honest about their intentions to vote for Trump. Some adults did not have the gutts to vote for Trump, so they didn't vote at all--which is essentially a vote, especially in a race as tight as this one.

4.  Remind children about the importance of voting and use this as an opportunity to promote civic education.  Many adults have expressed disappointment and shock about the Election results, but many adults did not vote. Explain to your children that not voting is voting, in the sense that it decreases opposition for candidates.

5. Look at the bright side.  Trump's presidency reminds us that America really is the land of opportunity. Look at these tweets:

 

2. IG: @AskCheyB ‏@AskCheyB  4h4 hours ago

   Donald Trump didn't run for president as a politician. Donald Trump ran for president simply as himself and he WON! Take notes. #BeYourself
3. 
   More
4. IG: @AskCheyB ‏@AskCheyB  4h4 hours ago

   Donald Trump has evidenced that he an amazing strategist if nothing else. He thwarted ALL of his competition and remained true to himself.

   
    
2. IG: @AskCheyB ‏@AskCheyB  4h4 hours ago

   A man with ZERO military or political experience was just elected President of The United States. If he can do it, so can you. Be inspired!
5. 
   
   1. Iyanla Vanzant ‏@IyanlaVanzant  6m6 minutes ago

      Today's Fix- What if the election results was the only way to motivate people to activate or deepen their Spiritual or Prayer life? What if?

    
6. 2. Iyanla Vanzant ‏@IyanlaVanzant  5h5 hours ago

      Beloveds-Let us think higher! The system needs to change-what if this is the way? There is nothing to fear! We are all awake now!
7. 
   

Protecting your kids during the holidays

With all of the running around we do during holidays, finding costumes, buying candy, cooking, baking, and juggling the pressure to do these things with our daily routines, it is easy to let our guards down and toss young ones into the care of whomever is available without full investigation.

We also tend to let our guards down around the holidays because we tend to get into the spirit of the season and presume that others have to. The parties, the drinking, the food, the music, the lights, and the contact with loved ones we haven’t heard from all year can be intoxicating. Yet, it is precisely this spirit evil-doers take advantage of.

As the Season is upon us, now is a good time to review some safety tips.   

Trust no one.  Keep your eyes and ears open. Be leery of individuals that seem eager to please, or who seem particularly interested in caring for your children or others. Whether or not a person has children of their own, or are caretakers is not necessarily an indication of their evil intent. People who have, or care for, children should not automatically be trusted just because of their status as parents. Some perpetrators intentionally choose to harm others’ children.

Plan in advance.  Haste makes waste. Securing child care at the last minute limits your options and may force you to hire someone you have not fully considered.

When you attend an event that involves multiple children, events, travel to different locations, and other adults, think before-hand about which adults will be responsible for childcare and protection.

Talk to your children—of all ages, and gender—about safety.  It should now be common knowledge that little boys need protection, too. You should already be unashamed about accompanying your little mister into a boys’ or girls’ bathroom. You should also be constantly reminding your female and male children about stranger-danger, trusting their intuition, strategies for alerting others that they are in danger, and situations to avoid.

Also, specifically discuss holiday-related scenarios that could involve perpetrators. For instance, discuss scenarios that involve a perpetrator claiming to be shopping for a loved one, or a perpetrator claiming to need help choosing a gift or help carrying shopping bags. Have your children think of scenarios, too.

Teach your loved ones to be leery of people who are very talkative. The longer a conversation persists, the more comfortable we tend to feel, and the potential for our guard being let down increases. Perpetrators con with their mouths and can be very charming.

Remind your children that they need not be afraid if a perpetrator instructs that a loved one will be harmed if what occurred is repeated, and that perpetrators say this because they are really afraid of getting in trouble for doing something they know is wrong.

Teach your kids the buddy system.  Teach your children to always know where loved ones, such as their siblings, are. If there is a room designated for children at a relative’s house or other holiday event, teach older siblings to check in periodically on younger siblings, and to let younger siblings know where to find their older siblings.  

Only-children may use this plan with peer cousins.

Holidays, with all of the loud laughter, noise, and festivities, are a perfect time to take advantage of people, as screams are difficult to hear over all of the excitement. Always having an idea of where your little ones are and what they're doing is important prevention.

Evaluate your children’s interactions with others.  Perpetrators are very manipulative. They can appear to be very fond of the children they commit evil against. You might even think that based upon how much they appear to care for your child, they could or would never hurt the child. Don’t be fooled. Perpetrators often show special affection to their victims. They may be very playful with them, or appear to extend the time they play with their victim.

Teach your children that when they make anyone—their peers and adults—aware that they are done playing with them, or have tired of a particular interaction—they are entitled to the interaction ending. In other words: “Stop” means stop!

Do not let your children think that it is rude to not interact with others, or to limit their interactions with others. Sometimes children sense things about people and situations that they cannot or do not explain. Teach your children to trust their intuition, and that they do not owe anyone any level of interaction.

Give your children language for ending interactions, such as “I’m done playing now,” or “I said ‘stop’!” Role playing that includes your child saying what may need to be said exactly the way they might say it, should make them more comfortable saying the words in real-time.

Talk to your children about their experience at events, after the event.  Parents often complain that their children do not talk to them. But could that be because you don’t talk to your children? Initiate conversation with your children about what happened at events they have attended. Ask if anything happened that made them uncomfortable. Ask if anyone or anything seemed strange. Abuse of any kind is difficult to discuss, and is especially difficult to initiate conversation about. Children, especially young children, tend not to have vocabulary for certain experiences. They may want to tell you that something happened, but lack the words or courage.

Finally, observe your children’s mood and behavior after events. 

Abuse or intimidation is typically unsettling, and may manifest as a change in behavior or functioning.

Tips for presidential candidates from overlooked group of Blacks

Although both North American presidential candidates have called themselves reaching out to “Blacks,” by making one or two speeches at so-called “Black” churches, and a couple of other events at which they figured “Blacks” would be, there is one group of Blacks both presidential candidates have missed, and that could be important to a victory. 

Elite North American Blacks are a relic whose minds may not yet be made up about the upcoming presidential election. Don’t let the word “elite” confuse you, we are not to be confused with the Black Bourgeoisie—the Blacks Lawrence Otis Graham most likely refers to in his book, Our Kind of People, Blacks who have attended elite academic institutions and tend to have experience with the finer things in life—college educated Blacks who are defined by their worldly accomplishments and travel. We may or may not be members of the Black Bourgeoisie, but we do not define ourselves by status or pretention.

This note concerns itself with elite North American Blacks—Blacks who trace their preceding generations to North America. Blacks whose immediate forefathers were likely sharecroppers, newly freed slaves who literally “pulled themselves up by their bootstraps.” I am talking about North American—not Caribbean or Continental African—Blacks whose ancestors have been in North America since the Enslavement Process (or Slavery as it is commonly referred) ended. We are sometimes referred to as southern Blacks, but it isn’t only southern North American Blacks who industrialized. Truth be told:  Like the Enslavement Process (or Slavery), it’s just a matter of historical circumstance. During and after Slavery, some Blacks ended up in the North and the other states that existed at the time, and they industrialized and succeeded just like the “southern” Blacks.

Elite North American Blacks are defined by aforementioned heritage and their understanding of White Supremacy, as demonstrated by their ability to transcend poverty while maintaining knowledge of their history, a sense of personal responsibility, and their insistence on helping pull their successors up without turning their noses up at anyone. Elite North American Blacks are defined by their balanced mentality. We are smart, not because we have attained higher education because we haven’t all attended college or have elite jobs or social statuses. We are smart and leadership-capable because we are critical thinkers who do not perpetuate the habits of other upper class groups without considering the impact of simply copying what others do. We understand that “upper class” does not consist of habits, tendencies, or pretentions. Our mindset makes us upper-classed, not the size of our bank accounts, the institutions we attended, organization memberships, or social statuses. We may or may not be Jack and Jillians, and members of other highly-regarded organizations. We may even be the first in our families to attend college or attain graduate and professional degrees. We have made the best of our situations and truly understand the meaning of diversity.

We are not put off by Trump’s stand on immigration, because we are not immigrants. We consider this country to be just as much ours as it is anyone else’s because this country would be nothing without the blood, sweat, tears and labor of our forefathers. We do not support bans on immigration, but we aren’t necessarily committed to fighting for immigrants’ rights because we are disgusted by Blacks and immigrants who come to this country and adopt the same racist attitudes towards us that Whites do, by stereotyping us and refusing to acknowledge our diversity, all while taking advantage of gains that we and our forefathers made possible. We are disgusted at the idea and stereotype that we are lazy and lack industriousness. We are repulsed by delusional Blacks who equate the term “African-American” with synonyms that undermine our success, all while bringing their troubles to this country and being coded as “African-American.” We defy the stereotypes depicted of us in many reality television shows.

We do not necessarily support the Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement. We don’t think it addresses the root cause of any problem. We don’t protest. We are silent and discreet. Our actions and success speak for itself.

We are offended by the notion that we have to vote Democrat in any election. We know that Candidate Clinton does not understand Blacks any more than Candidate Trump.

We are hard to find. You may not find us in the Black Church, for it is too basic for us. The patronization that most “Black” churches offer is a waste of our time. Our group of friends and associates is small, because few are sharp enough to handle our company. Candidates wishing to  address us must therefore intersperse their answers during debate, and other public statements, with tidbits that let us know they know we exist. Candidates have to be brave enough to acknowledge that the Black Lives Matter movement is not the sentiment of all Blacks and that there is more to the question of police brutality than what the BLM movement supposes. Candidates have to be brave enough to do what Senator John Edwards did when he was running for president:  He acknowledged that this country has unresolved historical baggage, presumably referencing the Enslavement Process and the fact that Blacks never recovered from that period—unless I am delusional and misinterpreted his sentiment.

Respecting the topic of race, as it has come up in this year’s presidential happenings, the Elite North American Black is not impressed with either candidate. Neither Clinton, nor Trump, have shown an understanding of the real issues impacting “Blacks”, which is that most Blacks’ social, emotional, and economic station is directly related to the perpetuation of a poverty that was created generations ago and remains unresolved. Either candidate could definitively gain our vote by acknowledging the existence of the Elite North American Black and our contributions and importance to America.